Reframing Capability Into Commitment
quantitative analysis of my 2024 behavior + new accountability system for 2025 goals
When you grow up in a world that doesn’t show anyone that looks like you (in media and campaigns) following your dreams, it can be easy to internalize that people like you don’t do things like [insert dream here]. (many of us can relate I’m sure!)
For a long time, I felt this way about my lifestyle and career goals; scientifically & creatively. In the penultimate year of my undergraduate education, my mentor opened my mind to applying to graduate school, specifically ones with PhDs. (JSU didn’t offer Math PhDs at the time). It all sounded encouraging and incredible but I wasn’t very confident about it. As a Black girl from from Mississippi at an HBCU, I was sure that admissions boards and society at large would count me out! People like me don’t get PhDs! Do they?
I wasn’t sure so I turned to social media. Watching YouTube vloggers had been a long time hobby so I turned to my go-to media source in need of Encouragement. Validation. Inspiration. Anything!
But when I looked up graduate school vlogs online, I couldn’t find any Black girls or HBCU girls! And if I did manage to find one or two, they didn’t look like me enough to count (no tattoos, loose curly hair, slim). This was the first confirmation of my fears.
“People like me don’t do this. Either I’m not capable or I’m just not worthy.”
When I got into multiple summer REUs (research experience for undergraduates) , there came a glimmer of hope! “Maybe I am capable”! Sadly, when I arrived I was the only Black person there. And the microaggressions chile?Oh, this confirmed my fears again. “This is not a space for me! Why do I think I can do this?”
Returning home senior year eased these feelings since I had some real life examples in my JSU mentors (Dr. Carmen Wright, Dr. Jana Talley, Dr. Alicia Jefferson) and I did my best not to let the negative experiences at the REU get to me. My capability and confidence were carried on the wind gusts of their encouragement and support.
Then when I got in my grad school environment, again there weren’t any of me. After relying on the support of those around me, I didn’t think I’d be capable enough to survive in the ivory tower. So few Black people have. And I myself barely did.
Til I met Dr. Chelsea Jones (c/o 2021), the only other Black student in my program at the time and now one of my closest friends, and Dr. Kennedy Goldsborough (c/o 2023), another Black PhD student in the SREB program. Their support and the support of my family kept me from quitting every semester. (We’ll have to talk out my struggles with racism and discrimination in academia in another essay - or two)
I’m so so grateful for their support because the longer I stuck it out; the more confident I felt. The more I learned. The more capable I became. And crossing that graduation stage in May 2024 confirmed that capability to me.
Not because of the paper. Or the celebration. But because I stayed committed.
Now, 6 months into my first job as a Dr., I’m a full on novice again. Learning things I’d never been introduced to before and deepening the skills I’ve just gained in ways I didn’t expect. The first 3 months were filled with imposter syndrome and discontent from such a life change. But in these last 3 months, I realized that I already learned this lesson.
There is no need to move out of fear. There is no goal I cannot meet. Completing my PhD taught me that all it takes to succeed is support and consistent effort. Not a fancy background. Not lots of privileges or resources and gadgets.
But commitment.
Committed consistency.
Trying a little bit every day for a long time, regardless of circumstances. Circumstances change in the blink of an eye but your worth never does. You are always capable.
I hope you remember that as you strive for excellence in 2025 and beyond. Cause I know I will!
There is a lot I want to accomplish in my future and I’ve already put an X on the map of the direction I want to head towards. Now it’s time to (1) recalibrate exactly where I am *now* and (2) transform my 5 year plan into action steps for 2025. I must set new goals and daily commitments to make my way to that X.
Let’s start with getting honest and transparent about where I am *now*. January 1, 2025. And what’s more honest than cold hard data?
2024 Habit Analysis
Behavior can be seen as more quantitative than many may often think.
Given how our life is a summation of choices, if we were to count our choices or how often we decide to go in one direction or another, we can quantify our behavior and outcomes. We could then measure our adherence to personal goals. Find out if our choices are positively or negatively impacting our life direction.
For me, seeing my behavior as quantitative has created more compassionate self-honesty and a greater sense of control over my life.
Which ultimately aids in the successful probability of my ideal outcomes and lifestyle.
So let's merge my love of mathematics with my love of biographical archiving and analyze my 2024 habits and behavior - quantitatively and qualitatively! How well did I adhere to my goals? How much did I actually achieve?
Q’s Weekly Review
For the last 52 weeks, I have documented my life and my habits through digital issues of “Q’s Weekly Review”. It’s my weekly reflection practice where I share photos of the previous week, grade my habit adherence, and set my priorities for the next week.
I’ve been habit tracking since 2016 in my bullet journal and now that I share productivity and lifestyle content, I wanted an easily accessible way to share a public example of this routine.
Adding the “grading” concept came in late 2023 when I was in grad school and learned that data means almost nothing if you can’t/don’t analyze it + share its meaning. Having a grade let me know how well I was keeping my promises to myself, while also helping me set expectations for my mood + body .
I’m also happy to report that I’ve gotten great feedback on how others have been inspired to institute a similar practice for themselves! It’s a long time habit of mine now and I plan to continue it in the new year.
But first, I have to see what this past year of effort has looked like.
Habit Adherence over Time (2024)
Since my career and creative goals are based on project outcomes, those shift from quarter to quarter depending on progress and completion. It didn’t seem effective to track any habits related to those goals - just the project outcomes (seen in the ‘accomplishments’ section of Q’s Weekly Review)
My health and fitness, however, is a year round / life long priority. Therefore, it was easy to decide which daily actions aligned with my wellness goals and then track those explicitly.
I initially tracked the same 5 habits through my weekly review: daily walking, strength training, daily vitamins , 6-8 hrs sleep, and 90g of protein. As my life circumstances changed, some of these switched. My vitamin goal became a water goal when I ran out of supplements (and money to buy supplements) and my protein goal became a skincare goal for similar reasons (money!). Others changed, though, due to personal motivation. For example, my daily walking habit changed throughout the year.
My initial goal was to walk for 1 hour a day. I had been walking 30-45 mins consistently the year before and wanted to up it. As seen by the trend line in the top graph, I was pretty consistent meeting this habit goal.
Because of this, I decided to up it again (lol!) Those one hour walks would only get me 6-7k steps and we alllll know the magic number! (10,000 steps a day) Changing to this habit did not prove as consistent though, as we can see by the downward trend line in the latter half of the year.
What does this tell me? Should I try for the hour walk or for 10,000 steps in 2025?
Well let’s look at the summary statistics to decide!
2024 Habit Summary Statistics
Summary statistics give a snapshot of the behavior we see over time. The average (or mean) tells me what my ~typical percentage is for meeting that goal.
Meaning, on average I met my goal of walking 1 hour a day for 7 days a week 73.27% of the time the first 6 months of 2024 and I met my 10k steps everyday for 7 days goal 77.1% of the time. This means I had better adherence to the 10k step goal despite it trending downward over time.
When compared to the mean, the median can indicate if the data is symmetrical or skewed. If the mean and median are the same, the data is evenly distributed. If they are different, the data is likely skewed. This means my 1 hr walk adherence is skewed lower (I met the goal less often) while my 10k step goal is skewed higher (I met it more often than not).
This says to me that when deciding on what habit to stick to in 2025, I feel more confident about my chances of sticking to my 10k step goal than my 1 hour walk. Which makes sense for where I am now: 10k can be met through multiple little walks (something that fits my lifestyle as a postdoc) versus trying to find a full hour to walk (like I could working from home in graduate school).
Looking at the other habit summary statistics. I best adhered to (1) taking daily vitamins, (2) getting 7 hours of sleep, and (3) strength training 5 times a week while the rest have much room for improvement.
These insights tell me that even with all the change throughout this year of graduating, finding a job, and moving twice, I was still able to keep my wellness in mind! After losing 40 lbs and taking 5 years to build these habits into my routine, I’m extremely proud of these maintenance results.
In the interest of seeing if those specific life events I mentioned impacted my weekly grade, let’s look at my weekly review grade over time.
Timeline vs. Events
With a near flat trend line, it feels safe to say I was consistent this year. Taking a closer look at those dips though, I wonder if any life events were around that time:
02/25 - 03/02 :
54% | the week my PhD proposal date was set
04/21-27/2024:
54% | the week I turned in my dissertation approval draft
07/28-08/03:
50% | the week I moved to Florida
11/24-30/2024:
44% | spent 4 days at home in MS for Thanksgiving
12/15-21/2024:
56% | no obvious cause
Clarifying the context for these poor (F) grades is very enlightening. It shows that these were results of enjoying my life, not neglecting it!
And that even with these dips, I still stayed consistent enough to keep trying. That personally feels really good! Commitment really can carry you through most anything!
Summary Statistics
So am I really even productive? Do I put my money where my mouth is as a work life balance / productivity creator? Well!
On average, I met my habit goals 78.25 % of them time with a skew towards 81.5%. That’s a solid C+/B- average for my behavior in 2024.
And considering it’s the year I got my PhD, honestly I’ll take it!! But I do 100% want to see this number improve for 2025.
So let’s do a qualitative analysis now to determine a sufficient behavioral approach forward.
2024 S.W.O.T. Analysis
As a mathematician, I'm keenly aware of the variety of analysis tools and approaches one can use for a given problem and also how the tool chosen should be based on the question you want to answer.
So when reflecting on 2024, l've already answered:
how did it feel? (through my personal journaling)
what did I accomplish? (answered in this Instagram post )
how consistent was l in my actions and commitments? ( through this quantitative habit analysis | see full video on YouTube)
All that's left to answer is: how can I move forward?
So I’ve decided to answer this through S.W.O.T. Analysis to determine my next steps with clarity and confidence.
SWOT analysis is a strategic planning tool that helps identify & evaluate strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats related to goals, projects, and personal development.
S. strengths: highlight what you do best, your achievements and unfair advantages
W. weaknesses: identity your negative habits, personality traits, and other areas for improvement
O. opportunities: identify actions, skills, and habits that increase your value and help you achieve your goals
T. threats: address the potential threats that could get in the way of your goals
My 2024 Strengths
I'm organized and detail oriented.
I love learning new things and trying new routines / systems.
I am personable, energetic, and magnetic, helping me grow my social media platforms and network effectively.
I am in the <4% of Black women with a PhD! omg!
My creative thinking and unique perspective helps me solve problems in original ways!
My 2024 Weaknesses
I struggle with time management and often underestimate the time it takes to complete tasks.
I often lack the willpower to finish things that I start early, leaving things 93% done til the last minute.
I have a tendency to spend impulsively when I'm 'ahead' on my finances, setting me back each time.
I fight with imposter syndrome and have a deep fear of failure / disappointing myself.
My 2025 Opportunities
I could time block my calendar and use Pomodoro timers to stay on task longer.
I could draft things in their entirety first and spread out the revision process instead of spreading out the completion.
I could use an actual budget and save a consistent amount monthly.
Fear means you have something to lose. It's okay to work hard.
Everything will not come easy.
My 2025 Threats
My bad habits (being late, making slow progress, procrastination) could make me seem unreliable or low-effort.
My dream career requires more deep learning and specialization as a coder and mathematician.
My too-frequent changes in personal priorities impact my productivity and project outcomes
4. Improper rest and lack of evening routine drains me and keeps me in a fatigued state
With these key areas identified, let’s set some realistically optimistic goals for 2025.
2025 Goals
Before setting my 2025 goals, it was important for me to take a look at not only my 2024 behavior but also at my big picture! For a long time, the pin on the map was the PhD. I’d been walking in that direction since 2018. But now that I’ve made it pass that spot on my career map, I had to find new direction. Envision my life based on who I am now, what I have now, and what I truly want.
I went through this whole process in my previous newsletter, walking through the questions I used to find a new pin.
5 Year Plan TLDR
Creating the 5 year plan was an exercise in big picture thinking for both my scientific and creative career goals.
I am currently a recent PhD that is working as a systems medicine postdoctoral associate. My long term scientific career goal is to become the head of my own lab to research diseases of my own interest. Four measurable milestones on the path to that destination include 3 first author papers and at least one successful grant submission and acceptance.
I am also currently a lifestyle vlogger that shares how I’m staying authentic while evolving throughout my life and career. I have created a productive community, the We’re Productive People Club, for ambitious people working towards work life balance to provide the space and support that carrie(d/s) me through my journey (currently 30+ strong) . My long term creative career goal is to have social media as a second stream of income that allows me to fund and host an annual 5 day reset retreat for the WPP members along with our bi weekly meetings. Three measurable outcomes on that path include ending the fall WPP hiatus, starting a subscription based service, and creating a one off productivity course for sale.
5 Year Goals —> 2025 Goals
2025 Scientific Career Goals
Attend 2 Research Conferences
Submitted Modeling Paper
Submitted Disease Model Paper
Full First Draft of Review Paper
Grant Diversity Supplement Submission
Motivation: ensuring job stability, prioritizing career development, increasing my scientific confidence, nurturing and expanding my network
Affirmation: I spend my time reading writing and researching because it allows me to find answers for the people in my community while also granting me the financial freedom I desire.
2025 Creative Career Goals
We’re Productive people Club 50+ members
Launch YouTube Membership
100 Videos on YouTube
26 Days as a Dr Newsletters
51 Grown or Growing Newsletters
365 Daily Columns
Motivation: becoming a better writer, creating a second stream of income, growing a well connected community, archiving my life
Affirmation: I enjoy hosting WPP and sharing content because it allows me to find and connect with people who have similar values while also documenting the Black history that is my life.
2025 Lifestyle Goals
Read 24 Books
Save $5000
Minus 20 lbs / 4 Inches All Around
30 Day Walking Vest Challenge (May)
75 Fine Challenge (February 1st - April 18)
Motivation: becoming a better writer and scholar, pursuing financial stability, eliminating pre-diabetic symptoms, improving endurance and mental toughness
Affirmation: I enjoy lifting and exercise bc it makes me unique. Not everyone has the discipline to commit to becoming stronger and building change. Through my fitness journey, I affirm my power and ability to shift my reality.
2025 Approach
My Mindset:
I can literally do anything, so you can literally do anything. Success is not about capability. It is about commitment.
My Methods:
I will incorporate the ‘opportunities’ from my SWOT Analysis into my daily routines to make them feel accessible.
I also practice both personal and communal accountability.
I am accountable to myself through quarterly goal checking, monthly resets, weekly bullet journaling, and The Daily Column.
I am accountable to my community through monthly public goal setting, bi-weekly Zoom sessions, Q’s Weekly Review, and The Daily Column.
In each of these places I am tracking my feelings and my adherence to the daily habits I’ve chosen to get me to my destination.
And yes! Sharing all of this publicly is quite a vulnerable thing to do.
What if I don’t meet my goals? What if I don’t look good at something? What if people see me daring to use my voice and take up space??? Won’t I get in trouble? Won’t it just ruin me??
Those thoughts have come before, it’s true.
But I feel the fear. And then I do it anyway.
I find it all to be quite brave. <3
I document my life as a Black woman studying medicine through math on my YouTube channel - Live With Dr Quin. I share weekly lifestyle vlogs all about healthy habits, productivity, and work life balance.
I recently shared a work week in my life vlog where I create the 5 year plan and explain it’s purpose in my life vision! Watch it here: