Purpose Over Productivity
clarifying my vision as a community leader and influencer
Every week it feels like I'm being *forced to refine my mission. To further clarify my vision. Align more with my purpose. Because new adulthood seems to be constantly getting hit with things that call all of my current goals into question.
Two months ago it was the election results and wondering if I'm safe where I am - in a red state with little local support.
Two weeks ago it was anti- DEI legislations making me wonder if a career in medicine was still feasible and cautiously creating a career plan B.
This past week it's been the loss of my baby girl at 18 years old. My niece Adajha. attached to my side like my shadow since I was 10 years old. Bringing me to the most heartbreaking standstill I've ever experienced in life.
In the week of her passing, I cried and slept. So I'm grateful for having a flexible profession and supportive community for giving me that time and emotional space. I'm still processing her death and I'll be grieving this loss for a lifetime, but that time to myself was beyond necessary.
Even still, the capitalism clock keeps a ticking and the internal pressure to "get back to work" has spawned this newest crisis of clarity. And I can't even blame it all on capitalism, because I do personally also value my work - as a scientist and a business woman. My work allows me to impact change in the lives of others and after experiencing the powerlessness of my niece's death - I desperately need to feel some kind of control. Some kind of effectiveness.
So after the initial weeks of mourning, I've begun to crawl my way out of my momentary cave in search of a reason to go on. A reason to create. To edit. To write. To read. To share. Why does it matter if she won't see it?
And the reason I've found so far is: purpose.
the role of the artist :: Nina Simone
Nina Simone, an American singer, songwriter, musician, and civil rights activist once spoke on the role of the artist in society, saying:
“"An artist's duty, as far as I'm concerned, is to reflect the times. I think that is true of painters, sculptors, poets, musicians. As far as I'm concerned, it's their choice, but I CHOOSE to reflect the times and situations in which I find myself. That, to me, is my duty. And at this crucial time in our lives, when everything is so desperate, when everyday is a matter of survival, I don't think you can help but be involved.
Young people, black and white, know this. That's why they're so involved in politics. We will shape and mold this country or it will not be molded and shaped at all anymore. So I don't think you have a choice. How can you be an artist and NOT reflect the times? That to me is the definition of an artist."
everything is art therefore we are all artists ::
I'm being the change I want to see because I've realized that world changes as people change. Lately, the changes have been absolutely horrendous. across the globe. So we are in desperate need of *positive* change. of new visions. of better examples. better decisions.
So instead of waiting for permission to create the things I desire to see, l'm just gonna do it. I'm gonna live and breathe the change I hope to see.
Isn't that the point of "free will" after all?
prioritizing people over profit ::
When I share my YouTube channel with other mathematicians and scientists, the response varies - with a skew toward the derogatory. “Are you trying to be an influencer?” And I get it, to some extent. But I’ve been working hard this past year to make my vision crystal clear on every single one of my platforms.
My social media aspirations are less "influencer" in the current connotation in regards to wealth and status and prestige. My "influencer" aspirations have more to do with being a positive example for young Black women, being a community leader offline and online, and promoting both connection and intellectualism through my vulnerable self expression and life documentation.
Yes, I want to influence the way people see themselves. I want women to be more confident. I want more Black people in S.T.E.M.
I want Black women to have all the resources, encouragement, opportunities, and tools they need to be authentic and autonomous.
I want to add in another option (via example) of what life could look like when young girls are making their mood boards. So that those mood boards consist of pictures of people that look like me and you.
reflections ::
It’s my personal aim to both create and consume art that impact our lives and culture.
I document my life as a Black woman studying medicine through math on my YouTube channel - Live With Dr Quin. I share weekly lifestyle vlogs all about healthy habits, productivity, and work life balance.
I’ve previously shared a weekly vlog where I talk about my motivations for documenting my life and my family + why I think you should too: